I’ve been with my boyfriend since high school, 10th grade to be exact. We were both just kids when we started going out. Fast forward 6 years later, we’re living together and we’re the strongest and happiest we’ve ever been. This blog isn’t in any means to show off what a “perfect” relationship we have because we really don’t. These tips may not work for everyone because each relationship is different. My boyfriend and I still have kinks and bumps along this road but here are a few things that I think young couples should know or at least think about:
1. You will bicker a lot about the stupidest things. These are those quick petty arguments that you honestly won’t remember in the long run. Try to turn these type of situations into a more humorous argument. Learn to laugh about it while reaching an understanding or agreement at the end.
2. When you do fight about something serious or shit just escalates out of hand, you will find out whether you’re a more assertive-discuss-the-problem-right-now type of couple or the give-me-some-space-I-need-to-breathe type of couple. Either or is okay, as long as you can talk and listen semi-calmly and say everything you need to say at the end of it all. Communicating effectively is key to overcoming serious arguments.
3. If you fucked up, admit it. Don’t let your pride get in the way. Apologize and make a conscientious effort to fix or change something. If you’re on the other end, be patient and understanding, don’t constantly remind your partner that they fucked up. If you’ve chosen to forgive your partner for something, don’t bring it up later. It’s not just on them anymore, it’s also on you because you only receive what you allow.
4. You and your partner were raised completely different, even if you were raised in the same community, brought up with the same religion, share the same values, you will not think the same for every situation. Learn to agree to disagree on everyday topics.
5. Be open to criticism and learn how to tell your partner what you want. You know how they say you don’t have to change to make someone love you, well you don’t have to change yourself as a person but almost always there’s gonna be something small that you can fix to help make your partner happier.
6. Keep that spark. Keep yourself looking the best you possibly can and don’t skimp out on the romantic stuff. You don’t have to go all out and break the bank, small or simple things are usually the best when it comes to doing romantic things. Surprises will always be sweet when done right. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you only have to be romantic on valentines day and let yourself go. It’s okay to bum it every now and then, but for the most part, carry yourself as if you’re trying to impress them before you were in a relationship. Stay cute and stay sweet y’all!
7. You both are young, don’t deprive yourself of doing something with your single friends just because you’re in a serious relationship. As long as you both have trust and communication, there’s really nothing to worry about. Go dancing, go barhopping, go out, then tell each other all about it afterwards.
8. Actively listen to your partner. Even if it’s a conversation as simple as what they did today, listen intently with interest and always give feedback. Give praise when praise is due and always try to leave your partner smiling at the end of conversations.
9. Give yourself time to miss each other. Me and my boyfriend live together and our schedules are so out of sync, but I feel that our relationship got a lot better now than when we had all the time in the world for each other. We wouldn’t fight but it’s the fact that we’re missing each other that makes seeing each other when we can that much better.
10. Work together and help bring each other up. If you’re serious about this person then you don’t wanna think just relationship advice anymore, you wanna think of the long run. Help each other to the top and be each other’s cheerleader. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, you can always encourage and push each other to succeed in life.
11. Make sure your sex life is still on point. When you first date, you’re in that “honeymoon phase” where all you do is make love and wallow in each other’s love stank. This shouldn’t dwindle as the years go by. Keep it interesting, watch porn, check tumblr gifs, change it up, get creative, make sure you’re keeping your partner not just satisfied but amazed at how good they still got it after all these years. Confidence is key here. Git yo freak on y’all, it’s healthy!
12. Talk about the past, even though I said not to bring up the past lol. It’s always good to reminisce and remember all the amazing memories you’ve made with your partner. Pictures are fun too but just looking back random times of your guys’ relationship brings nothing but amazing giddy feelings and sometimes can re-spark a relationship.
13. Things will never be perfect if you’re constantly looking for something to nitpick. Learn to look past the small stuff and you’ll realize that they’ll go away on their own. Worry about yourselves not other ‘cuter’ couples or ‘happy’ singles or how you both look to others. It’s all about perception and how YOU wanna see your relationship.
Obviously I’m not an expert and this isn’t the key to everyone’s relationship but these are just some of the things I learned along the way and I wish I read when me and Jakrin first started dating. If it helps you then great! Best of luck to all you lovely couples out there! Stay beautiful and spread the looooove!
Till this day, I still respect you two as a couple <3 You two seem so in love and I look up to that. Get iitt girrl